Fresh Start

This past month has truly been a bitch! First I was laid off, then some personal crap, and now…

This morning I woke up early, typical these days, turned on my phone and it started with this funny message that said “DATA FORM”, but the phone seemed to work fine so I didn’t think anything of it and went to Starbucks where I ran into my friends Paul & Brian. I sat there for 30-45 minutes, which seems to becoming a routine, and then left.

A little later I met up with my new friend, Jason, who invited me to hang out with him downtown. We walked from Adams/Michigan to Ogden/Chicago where this Mexican guy almost got hit by a truck, but only after yelling out “hey! stupid ass” in this heavy accent. I couldn’t help but giggle at the amount of sass this guy gave the truck driver, but I don’t think the guy appreciated me finding humor in his near death experience because he gave me a nasty glare.

We walked over to the building where Jason needed to go for work, and I sat in the lobby FOR AN HOUR waiting for him to finish. While there I met this Puerto Rican woman who was upset because she had been there waiting for almost an hour for something that should take only 15 minutes, and how her family was waiting outside. I kept hoping that we would be done and leave soon, but it was too late and she started talking about her new job, family, waiting, her life story, and how Mexicans are over populating Chicago, because they out number Puerto Ricans. Ahhh, ok lady!

Finally Jason was done and we headed back to Lakeview. As were coming out of the subway on the Red line, my phone rang. The voicemail was from a reality show that I applied to earlier—they wanted me to come in. Cool! I went to make a call to share the news and realized…oh! Fushizzle! All my phone numbers were gone *flash back to earlier this morning when I got that message “DATA FORM”* SHIT!!!! DATA FORM= DATA FORMAT! The phone reformatted my entire contact list and now everything was gone!

I really wasn’t surprised after everything that’s happened recently. However between the call from the reality show and the contact list being erased...I can’t help but wonder if destiny is trying to tell me that my life needs a fresh start and that I should prepare for a new beginning.

Good Morning, Sunshine!

Last night a friend invited me out to dinner after my shift at the ‘Deuce’, which I gladly accepted considering he was paying (thanks Chris!). Although there was a slight altercation with a LP Trixie (they’re just in their own world), dinner was good and it helped get my mind off of life.

After a week of partying and being a little too crazy, I decided to just stay in and detox following dinner. I was in bed before 11pm, tossed and turned, and then up by 5:30 am.

Man, it’s going to be a beautiful day! From my window I can see the sun creeping over the horizon. I need a distraction, I need fresh air, and I need to think. I believe it’s time to grab the iPod, put on my running shoes, and head down to the Lakeshore. Feet! Are you ready to take me where my mind needs to go? Godspeed!

The 500th resume

If you think that just sending out your resume is going to get your foot in the door. Guess again! Whether you’re a Harvard Grad or from a local community college, the fact still remains, that it’s who you know that gets you the interview. Shit, I’ve been sleeping with the wrong people!

Severing Ties

Life sometimes serves you lemons, and it’s up to you whether or not you make lemonade or throw them away and get an apple. The relationship you have with an employer is similar to a personal relationship, and when you’re laid off it can feel as difficult as breaking up. However, you can do it, and move on from the situation a better person.

So you were laid off. It sucks, I know. Trust me! Right now it’s hard to see the new life ahead of you, and it may sting, but there is hope. Moving on from any broken relationship can be done, but often it just takes a little time. You have a choice to either become a bitter person or snap back and take responsibility for enjoying a renewed sense of opportunity in your life. It’s out there, and you’ll find it. Often time you go through stages before your wounds heal.

Mourning
Recently a friend told me that when he quits his job he doesn’t plan to give his employer the typical two week notice. He referenced a situation where a woman he worked with was laid off, and she asked to leave immediately. Often, employers know weeks in advance that they are letting go which allows them time to plan and prepare for the break, but unfortunately employees usually don’t have that chance. When the end comes, it can be rough to let go. Sometimes you aren't even given a chance to say good-bye or say what you feel.

However, the key to getting over being laid off is to remember that this loss can be similar to bereavement. Often we suffer the same key stages of bereavement including shock, denial, grief and anger. Know and accept that sometimes it will take time before you start feeling normal again.

Help yourself by accepting support from friends and family. Be patient: the stress, pain (mostly felt in your pocket book), and frustration will pass, but it will take time. In the first few weeks after severing ties, do anything that keeps you occupied and busy. Things like being social, going to career fairs, a museum, the movies, taking a class, reading the paper at a coffee house, meet new people, or go shopping. Go and do the things you once enjoyed, and regain control of your life.

If you find you are isolating yourself from the rest of the world, then you may wish to seek out the help of a professional therapist. They can help you clear your thoughts, or put things into perspective. Not to mention, it helps prevent a prolong depression.

Of course you’re going to have the weeks of being bombarded with questions from your family/friends like ‘how’s the job hunt going’, 'are you ok', or similar inquiring remarks. Don’t get frustrated, but rather try to use it as means of networking and therapy. Ask them if they know of any opportunities, and remember that they’re only asking because they care about you.

As you get over the situation, you'll start feeling more enthusiastic about life.

• Get in touch with all your friends. Never turn down an invite, however boring, because it might lead to a new and exciting job lead.
• Take up a new interest, sport or try volunteer work. It will help you stay busy and put you in touch with other like-minded people in your local area.
• Most importantly, set new goals. Write a list of your dreams including the things you weren't able to do in previous employment. Any inspirational goals including new travel plans, adventuresome activities like sky diving, redecoration plans - will help you not dwell on the past.
• Accept sometimes there are no apologizes

Learning from Life’s Lesson
As part of getting back on track with life, you need to recognize what you’ve learned from the situation. How have you grown, what have you take with you? The life experience from being laid off makes you a stronger person. I know its a cliché, but it’s true. Life’s lessons give us insight and wisdom, so when or if there is a next time, you will be prepared.


The Right One
Many times while people try to find the “perfect” match, they turn away the “right” one. Try not to let yourself become bitter or clouded by frustration. As you bounce back from the feelings you may have about loosing your job, ask yourself the following questions:

• What would I have needed in order to choose a more suitable job?
• How could I have started the previous job better and lay down more structured? How could I have grown more?
• When things started to go wrong, what could I have done differently?
  

Finally, be optimistic about your new life and the opportunities that will come. It may not seem as though you will ever find a job - or if you do, that you will enjoy it. The frustration does pass, and there is a horizon at every sunset. There is a new begining for every end. And, chances are, the previous job just wasn't right - otherwise you would still be with them. Remember that your life going forward has every chance of being a thousand times better than the one you've left behind. Give yourself a chance, stay positive, and be good to yourself.

I leave you with a quote from one of the sexiest ladies on TV, Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker):

“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"

Success

How do you measure success? Is it representative by having lots of money and a big house, a 4.0 GPA, or having awards or trophies adoring your walls? Are you guaranteed success if you’re extremely intelligent or talented? How many times can you fail before you finally succeed?

One of my favorite architects of all times, Antoni Gaudí, was at the forefront of the Art Nouveau movement in Spain. He’s often referenced as one of the most successful and famous Spanish architect, yet he lived in poverty for most of his life. Even after being hit by a tram, no one recognized him and he was taken to a pauper’s ward hospital where he died. How did Gaudí measure his success?

When James Dyson, a British industrial designer, had the notion to build a better vacuum he didn’t stop with the first prototype, or the 10th, nor the 100th, or ever the 1,000th. It wasn’t until the 5,127th prototype that he finally brought it to market. Did his faith in his ability and persistance make him one of the most successful businessman in the UK?

During his life Thomas Edison obtained nearly 1,100 US patents, which is still the most ever issued to a single individual. When he was working on the light bulb, he experimented with thousands of different materials before finally discovering that a carbon filament in an oxygen-free bulb glowed was the key. If it wasn't for Edison's patience, would there be cities around the world glowing from his invention? Probably not.

"The first requisite for success is to develop the ability to focus and apply your mental and physical energies to the problem at hand - without growing weary. Because such thinking is often difficult, there seems to be no limit to which some people will go to avoid the effort and labor that is associated with it...."

I consider myself of modest intelligence and skill level, and truth be told I’d rather read a cheesy tabloid newspaper than the New York Times. I’m a horrible spellre (than gawd for spe;ller check), my grammar needs some polishing, and sometimes I’m flat out misunderstood. Does that make me less likely to succeed?

In a recent conversation with my father he reminded me that patience, persistence, and a little faith will often take you further than a perfect score or lots of money. He’s right! From every failure comes the seed of an even greater possible success. Without failure, we can never grow to our full potential. If Gaudí measure his success by monitary standards, would there be the Sagrada Familia? If Dyson stopped at the second prototype, would he be the highly successful business owner? Had Edison given up on his 5,000th experiment of the light bulb, would the world be the same? Maybe it’s time to reevaluatethe measure of my success.

Seeing is Believing

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Sometimes a story is best told by seeing. My IDES story.
9:00		-	Center on Halted: Walked by the future site of the community on the way to the bank. I needed to exchange coins for dollars, so I could take the bus and eat.
9:30			McDonald's: Good for the taste buds, even better for my budget.
9:55			IDES: Hello, again. :-(
10:47			Totem at Lane Tech: Just got out of my meeting with the IDES and on my way home.
10:54			The Cute Puppy: This little guy followed me for almost 1/2 a block. I wanted to take him home, he was so cute!
10:57			Missed the bus: The bus flew past me, so I made a run for it. After about 20 seconds I gave up and it pulled away.
10:59			Fake Plastic Trees: Flipped on my iPod, first song RadioHead, then the soulful voice of Eric Himan. I almost had a moment on the side walk...OK I'm back.
11:01			Under the bridge: I've always thought "I'm going to take a picture of that some day." (Metra bridge support on Addison)
11:04			CB2: I always get excited when I see the store.
11:06			Detour: Oh look, someone made a sign about my life.
11:09			House of the Lions: Very cool house on Addison
11:13			WHAT!! No, I am not secretly taking your picture because I think you're hot. Whatever...
11:14			Spider-Man: I need a hero.
11:16			Wrigley: Welcome home

Ahhh, yes, young Grasshopper

Last night I was coming home and as I was walking toward my apartment I kept thinking “I hate my building, I hate my small apartment, I hate that I haven’t found a job, should I move or stay, and for fuck sake—what the hell am I doing with my life?”

It’s only been three weeks since I was laid off, yet I’m starting to slip into that unemployment coma (Oddtodd.com did a great job describing the daily life of the unemployed in his cartoon: Laid-Off: A Day in the Life). An unemployed coma is when the days fly by, you don’t really think your efforts are getting you anywhere, you drink more, stay out later, sleep at odd hours, gain weight, and you just start to feel like a big fat loser!

Friends, family, and even loved ones can help you temporarily snap back to reality, but often times you have to find strength from within and focus. For some it’s exercise, others religion, but for me it’s a Chinese fortune cookie saying on a 2”x1/4” slip of paper that says “Your efforts will pay off”. For whatever reason or forces of nature I’ve managed to keep this little piece of paper in my possession for over 6 years and through 5 different apartments, 4 jobs, and 3 relationships. I’ve even lost it a couple of times, and yet it still seems to find its way back into my life.

Granted I don’t attribute my success on a fortune, but every little bit can help keep your spirits up and your eyes on the prize. I’m not sure why I’ve kept this saying for so long. It could be because I’m a packrat (doubtful), maybe it’s the optimist in me, or maybe its fait trying to tell me something? Be that what it may, that little slip of paper taped to my computer has been my reminder, and in some ways given me solace.

Resumé Break

Although I’m unemployed and looking for a full-time job, that doesn’t mean I’m dead or should stop having fun. Does it? No way!

This weekend was Halsted Market Days in Chicago’s Lakeview area. It’s this big o’festival with music, food, shops selling little knickknacks or art, and of course there were TONS of people. If you’re anything like me and enjoy people watching, then you’d love this event. The festival draws a mostly gay crowd, but you’re sure to find a wide variety of unique individuals navigating throw the masses.

Unfortunately, I had to work at my part-time gig (CB2.com) most of Saturday, but I met up with the boy and a bunch of friends immediately following. After a quick stop home to clean-up, I headed out again and arrived to the 7-11 concert area just as Duncan Sheik was taking the stage. It was a great experience and certainly helped get my mind off work and finding a new job. I was surrounded by friends, and having a good old time.

At some point during the concert all my friends were whispering and looking back towards me, but I just thought they were trying to figure out who was smoking the pot (at least that’s what I thought I smelled). Turns out they were checking out Eric Himan who was standing right behind me. Now, Eric is this soulful singer that we first heard at Uncommon Ground a few weeks ago. (Friend Matt’s observations on that night’s event: fourteen democrats, a tattooed musician and some pumpkin ravioli.... Matt's Archive Blog)

I didn’t know how much Eric liked Duncan, so I wasn’t sure if should bug him. Then before I knew it, I grabbed his arm which is covered with detailed tattoos, and started chatting with him. As we small-talked, I kept thinking how lucky this guy is…he gets to travel all over the country, meet tons of people, makes a living from his music, and he loves it. I can’t remember the last time I LOVED what I did for a living. I told Enrique, that there’s one thing in my life that I wish I could do, and that’s sing. To me, it’s the highest form of expression. I admire Eric’s talent and ambition, it’s inspiring…

EmployTroy.com, Part Duo

It’s been a week since I was laid off from IIDA, and although I’ll try NOT to be bitter towards the interior design profession, it’ll be very difficult. When they handed me the papers, they said it wasn’t performance based, and described the layoff as a change in the job description. Deep down it felt more like a cut into my ability to produce something creative.

When I was younger, I use to build malls, skyscrapers, and other buildings with Legos. As I got older I took CAD classes, Architecture history, design courses, and even entered several design competitions. I would always place, but would never win. Yet I never let minor disappointments or opinions deter me from my passion for creative work, so I kept pushing forward. For so long I’ve pushed my career towards graphic design, architecture, or something in the creative arena. However, I’m finding myself becoming more and more cynical towards a profession I once loved.

Everyone wants to be good at something, and have a talent that people admire – at least that’s what I believe. I use to be passionate about design, and I thought I was talented. Now, I’m not so sure…

This second round of layoffs has left me questioning my ability to elevate myself from just some jackass with Photoshop to a professional grade designer. Your friends and family will tell you ‘oh, that’s nice, you’re talented’, but the real test is your peers. I need validation, I need to feel like I did something amazing, and that I MADE a difference.
This past week has been an eye-opener for me, and I am left pondering what I have to offer or where I fit.