Let the Countdown begin!!

Despite my eagerness to kick off '06 I doubt I'll be celebrating this New Years Eve in grand style when the ball drops. It’s funny because I’ve over heard so many people complain that NYE is overrated, yet everyone goes out or makes resolutions. I’m still not sure what I’m doing this year, but hanging out with friends and in bed by 12:30 is more than OK with me.

On Sunday, I start a new chapter in my life, and I have a really good feeling about it. In 2006 I will do great things...it's my year, I just know it. Things already are getting back on track after so many months of being derailed. If anything, I'll look back at 2005 as the year I grew the most and found new inner strengths.

Check out this NYE website from Philips: http://www.newyears.philips.com/

Six for ‘06

Every year millions of people make New Years resolutions, but most don't actually stick to it and achieve their goals. For many, they burn out within the first few months and return to their old habits. For those who accomplish their resolutions, a sense of achievement and pride is most certain. Some of the most common resolutions are loosing weight, quit smoking, be debt free, or learn something new.

I’m not big on making new years resolutions, but this year is different. They say you should always start your goals by writing them down, but I’m taking it a step further. I think by making my goals public, I’ll feel more accountable to actually completing them. Here we go! Troy’s six goals for 2006:

1. Get a full-time Job (done!)
2. Learn 6 new things (Spanish, dance, massage, guitar, how to cook, mix music)
3. Travel (Spain, Dubai, or Germany)
4. Get in shape and return to Water Polo team, and play in the Gay Games –Chicago
5. Build stronger relationships with my friends and family
6. Be a better person and enjoy life more

What are your NYE resolutions?

Felices Fiestas

This time of the year always makes me a little more sentimental and optimistic, mainly because of all the love I get from my friends/family and the excitement of the New Year. Well, I wish everyone a great Christmas or Hanukah (Chanukah) or Kwanza.

Dear Santa!

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a really good guy this year, and I’ve tried oh so hard to be nice. If its not too much to ask, all I would like this year is a full-time job, some benefits, and a 401k. Ok, and maybe David Hasselhoff’s Night Before Christmas CD too. =)

Sincerely,
Troy



Other Dear Santa letters: http://www.news-graphic.com/letters_to_santa/

Cowboy Troy

Last night I ventured off to Landmarks Century Theater by myself to see Brokeback Mountain. The movie based on E. Annie Proulx’s novelle under by the same title told the story of two cowboys who, by fait, fall in love during the summer of 1963 behind the Wyoming vista. The movie progresses over the next 20 years and depicts how the two men struggle with their secrete love affair, and ultimately their destiny.

By the end of the movie I was numb with emotion, and slowly exited the theater. As I walked home I could feel my body tighten with every step as the bitter freeze dug into my skin. In many ways the cold winter night seemed to mirror my melancholy state of mind, and I felt like a lowly urban cowboy.

I knew I would like this movie, and the fact that my name was mentioned in the last scene of the movie was an added bonus. I also found it interesting to later learn that yesterday was Jake Gyllenhaals’ birthday (12-19), so he's a December baby too. Love is a force of nature? Yes, indeed!

My 400 sq. ft. Mansion

Last week my old roommate, Jeff, and I were invited to a reception for our efforts in helping to raise money for the Center on Halsted. The affair was held at a 20,000 sq. ft. mansion (recently featured in the Redeye) on Astor Street in Chicago’s elite Gold Coast neighborhood. The home belonged to a retail mogul who generously provided us with hor’dourves and wine, while allowing guests to explore his home. Amazing only begins to describe this place, and I began to feel dwarfed in the grandiose of this neoclassical dwelling. The breath taking home had a ballroom on the fourth floor, numerous bedrooms, a tranquility room, sauna, whirl pool, a large outdoor area, and a collection of art that is simply spectacular. In fact I was chatting with Jeff near one of the fireplaces, and I began to admire the painting overhead…

Jeff jokingly said “you know that’s where they keep the safe, it’s always where rich people keep their safes.” And I made the comment that it looked like a Picasso, to which Jeff replied “well, it is” as he pointed to the signature. “OH!”

The whole time I was there, I felt like I was in a museum and should whisper. I tiptoed through the halls and rooms in fear an alarm would sound and attack dogs would be released if I got too close or touched anything. While I am still amazed at the absolute size and beauty of the mansion, I wondered if I could ever really feel at home in a place like that.

For those who know me, they know that I haven’t exactly been thrilled about downsizing to a studio apartment. However, tonight I was coming home from a typical evening of reading at the coffee shop near my apartment. As I walked up the stairs to my floor I got a welcoming sense of home--it was the warm smell of fresh bake goods. I was instantly thawed from the bitter chill of the outdoors. In many ways it reminded me of when I was a little boy back home in Michigan. I would return home after building a snow fort or sledding, and my mom would bake cookies while I dushed off the snow and warmed up.

As I came closer to my apartment, I took one last whiff before entering. I opened the door and with the flip of a switch my entire apartment was illuminated. I laughed, smirked, and suddenly realized that maybe this place isn’t so bad. Maybe I don’t have a Picasso or a ballroom, but I have a home that I can claim and sense of community that the house on Astor lacks. Not to mention the smell of cookies! I may be poor, but right now I feel like a million bucks and this is my 400 square foot mansion.

I'm Famous

Ready or not, I’ve decided to take a leap of faith and see where it takes me. Tomorrow I’m heading down to Studio5 (NBC) at around 7am to promote employtroy.com. My site isn’t what I wanted, but I’m happy to keep it as simple as possible. It’s a long shot, and some people may even consider the promotion/site a bit silly or even stupid. Honestly, I don’t care anymore and if it helps get me get a good job, then in the end nothing else matters. It's time to take flight and end this unemployment!

All I want for Christmas is a full-time job with a 401k!

Ok Santa, you got me!

Typically when I’m working at the Deuce I zone the music out, but the other day we put a new Holiday CD in and there was a song that grabbed my attention. Not only does it have a catchy sound, but the lyrics are pretty sweet too. Makes me want to have a miss connection too....oh well. Anyway, here for you now Troy’s new favorite Christmas song:

Christmas Wrapping
-The Waitresses

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn't go,

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!

"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending! "

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Written by Chris Butler

Confessions on the salon floor

The other day I was helping my friend at his salon, and one of the hair stylist, who we'll call Tina, and I started talking. At first it was just small talk, but slowly I became more comfortable and opened up. Before I knew it, I was spilling my guts on juicy details and taboo topics about my all night birthdaypolluza and other personal things.

I sat back and made the observation that I felt like I was talking to my therapist. We both laughed, and then she told me that in a way she’s sort of like a best friend or a therapist. She said that people feel so comfortable about telling her the craziest stuff. Whether it’s cheating on their spouse, straight guys experimenting with other guys, embarrassing moments, or numerous other details of their life they wouldn’t share with anyone else…except their stylist.

What is it about sitting in a salon chair and getting your hair done that makes SO many people confess their dirty secretes? What makes them divulge the things that even some of their best friends might not know?

Tina and I decided that stylists, in a way, help us feel better about ourselves by making us look good (usually), and in turn that lowers our guard and puts us in a comfort zone. Of coarse there’s always an exception, but having been around salons and stylists for a long time I have come to the realization that in a small way they truly are pseudo therapist. Think about it, a seasoned stylist typically is a good listener, they understand how people work (because they have to read between the lines and figure out what people really want, even when it’s ambiguous), and generally the stylist isn't going to tell anyone. Therefore, it creates the perfect setting for people to confess everything in the salon.

In my case, a drunken birthday pie fight at 7am (thanks Brendan and Ben my shirt is a goner)…it’s a long story, but cut my hair and I’ll give you the juicy details. :-)

BBC NEWS | Health | Stress ages immune system

Article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3034410.stm

Being unemployed and worrying about my future has truly been stressful these past months, so needless to say I found this article especially interesting. Before reading it I wasn’t really cognizant of the impact stress was having on me, but now I am beginning to wonder if my body has been sending me warning signs all along. In fact when I think back to last spring, I experienced increased headaches and dizzy spells after my grandma's death. I also experienced body pain/tension in my upper shoulders/neck, heart palpitation, and fatigue following the anxiety of moving, being laid off, and the end of a relationship--all of which happened in a very short time span.

Researchers say that your body and your mind generally try to stay in balance, but stress can alter that equilibrium. Furthermore, stressors can come in many forms—physical and emotional, from one source or many, and from the past, the present or the future. Stress can also be short-term or long-term and conscious or unconscious. Although stress may be ubiquitous in life, we don’t all respond to it the same way. According to Dr. John Hubbard and Dr. Edward Workman in their book, Handbook of Stress Medicine, stress is a continuum that can come in a series of more subtle physical and mental measures, such as alterations in blood thickness, digestive activity, changes in mood, mental focus, and even lower your sex drive. They note that boredom occurs if stress is too low, and emotional and physical damage can occur if stress is too high.

Similar to how different people handle stress, we as individuals don’t respond, nor should we, to the variations of stress the same way. Therefore, it only makes sense we build different “strategies” to keep a balance in reaction to different stressors. In my case, I’ve tried to offset my own stress with exercise and positive thinking (for the most part), but I often wonder if that’s enough or the appropriate means of dealing with it. As I get older I am becoming more aware of health concerns, which is why it’s important to me that I find alternatives to alleviating my anxiety. Maybe Yoga and mediation or playing water polo again. Hmmm

Flasher

i'm so excited, i just learned how to do external text file referencing in Flash by using "loadVariablesNum()"

isn't that AWESOME?!

For My Birthday: AIDS

In 2005, it is estimated that there will be over 40 million cases of AIDS worldwide. It’s a topic that doesn’t make the headlines like it once did, yet continues to have a global impact with 1 in 5 people dying every minute. Some of the hardest hit regions are Africa and Latin America. In Africa alone there are 25 million cases, and the CDC estimated in 2003 that there are between 1,039,000 to 1,185,000 persons in the United States who are living with HIV/AIDS, with 24-27% undiagnosed and unaware of their HIV infection.

Until a cure is available the best way to prevent new cases is abstinence and awareness. However, if you’re a sexual being than it’s probably hard to void that part of you life. I suggest lots of cold showers.

Recently I watched a program about global health campaigns and they feature Mechai Viravaidya of Thailand. Initially his message fell on deaf ears, but after a military coup in 1991 he was made minister for tourism, information and AIDS. He was able to start a large and quite successful education campaign and served until 1992. In many ways Mechai is a pioneer of safe sex, and an example of the power of one. Over the past two decades he’s become known as the ‘condom king’, and his name has even become slang for condoms in Thailand. He campaign to help Thailand’s rising health dilemma and the spread of HIV, due to their huge sex trade. Mechai would pass out condoms to cab drivers, do educational seminars in schools, commercials on TV, or whatever it took to get the information out about safe sex and HIV.

After seeing RENT for the second time in a row last weekend and a special about Mechai Viravaidya on PBS, I’ve never been more inclined to get involved with the battle against HIV/AIDS than I am now. In a small way I feel destined to be apart of the outreach because my birthday is on World AIDS Day (December 1). Not to mention I also have seen the impact its had in my own community.

Whether you’re gay, straight, single, or in a relationship, you should get tested, get involved, or just wear a red ribbon today and help raise awareness.

Links:

• http://www.worldaidsday.org/
• http://www.aids.org
• http://www.aegis.org/todaysnews/du.asp#11737
• http://www.avert.org/statindx.htm
• Know the risks: http://www.youandaids.org/About%20HIVAIDS/Safe%20sex%20guide/index.asp