After a tumultuous day at the store yesterday and dealing with the stupidity of the general public for nine hours, I came home to another headache…
It’s only been a few months, but in the end things just weren’t working out and my winter romance came to a close. Call it chance, destiny, or fate, but I truly believe there is a reason for everything in life. People come in and out of our lives to serve a purpose, whether its’ to teach us a life lesson, fulfill a need, or even prepare us for the next season of love.
Honestly, at this point I’m not really sure what to think about everything, but I know in my heart that he didn't mean to hurt me and that this is for the best. I don’t have harsh feelings toward him, and I respect the way he ended things. Although our time was short, I want to believe I added some value to his life. I guess you never really know what people are thinking deep down, but for me it’s a belief that I have to hold onto…otherwise I just may go insane.
When we went our separate ways, I met-up with my core friends. We ate Mexican food, drank strong margaritas, discovered each others parent’s names, talked a lot, and laughed. They were my sounding board, my shoulder to lean on, and gave me a hug to remind me everything was going to be OK. Friends are good for that, but finding good friends can be hard. I really am lucky, because I’ve been fortunate to find a group of guys that are that uncommon friendship.
Despite being surrounded by friends, I just wasn’t feeling like being out anymore. I left the bar around 11:30, and texted another good friend to tell him what happened. I can always count on this guy to cheer me up or help put life into perspective…this time all he said was “well, honestly, Troy, you’re too pretty. Fuck him, because he doesn’t realize what he gave up. Go get drunk.”
Unbeknownst to my friend, later that night the guy he was dating was about to drop the bomb on him.
When I finally got to bed I tossed and turned, and then was up by 7am. At 8:30 my friend called me and asked to meet up. Moments after he walked into my apartment he broke down and started crying. Suddenly, my problems were irrelevant and I needed to tend to my friend, like my buddies did for me last night. I grabbed him and gave him a big bear hug. I could feel his pain as I stood there hugging him with his lifeless arms at his side. For the first time in our 6 year friendship I saw a side of him I’ve NEVER seen. We all have pain and we all have sorrow, but you can’t expect someone to fill your needs for that what you don’t let show.
Today my friend let down his walls, opened up, and showed me his needs…his broken heart. I can’t even express how honored I am that he felt comfortable enough to come lean on me. Trust these words my brother, I am your strength when you are not strong. Call on me anytime.